survivinglife

We have all been hurt before, by someone who we trusted, who we loved, someone who we thought would never let us down maybe.  Either way, we all have been let down at some point in our lives.  Does this mean that we shouldn’t trust anyone any more?  Too many times people use that as an excuse to not get close to the next person they become involved with.  By not trusting, or by holding on to the hurts of the last relationship, you are instantly putting up a road block, stopping your current relationship from moving forward. 

I know it’s hard, but each new relationship we enter, we must enter it free and clear.  We have to realize that the person we are involved with is not the person we just left.  They are a new beginning, and therefore, deserve to be treated as such.  They have not hurt you or lied to you, so you should give them the benefit of the doubt.  Now this is not to say that you should keep your eyes shut to everything they say or do, but it does mean that you shouldn’t be too quick to jump to conclusions or assumptions. 

How can you do this when you were hurt so badly you ask?  Well, first of all, you have to take stock of your last relationship.  You need to realize what went wrong, and what your part of it was.  Many times we want to place all the blame on the other person, not admitting any of our own faults.  Very rarely is that the case.  Maybe you were too controlling, or maybe too demanding of their time.  Maybe the two of you just grew apart.  No matter what the reasons, you need to be aware of your role in it, and then decide what you want to do differently, if anything. 

The next thing you need to do is be aware of what you learned from that relationship.  In every relationship of every kind, we learn something, even if it is just that we don’t like who we are with that person.  We are always learning, and our relationships offer no different.  Remember, if we don’t learn, we are doomed to repeat our same mistakes until we do learn.

The last thing is to decide what you want yourself to be.  Take what you have learned, and put it to your use.  Evaluate yourself, and become what you want to be.  When you have done that, you can enter into your next relationship free and clear.