Feb 13 2009
Fixing Others
People everywhere seem to enter into relationships with the misconception that they can “fix” or “change” the other person. This always reminds me of the old joke, how many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but the light bulb has to really want to change.
With Valentines Day approaching, I hear many people saying that they are looking for someone to love them. First I want to point out that that is the wrong approach to finding a relationship that has any hope of lasting. You first have to love yourself before you can love someone else, and you defiantly can not enter into any type of relationship hoping or expecting the other person to fill what ever void you may have. This idea is just a failure waiting to happen, and it will.
A question for you, if you are in a relationship with a person who you feel you need to fix, are you actually avoiding the things in yourself that you should be fixing? Are you ignoring your own inadequacies and problems and focusing on the other person so you don’t have to look at yourself and fix yourself?
We can’t fix anyone else. We can’t change anyone else. We only have control over ourselves, our emotions, and our actions/reactions. Anything other than that, we might as well just sit back and enjoy the ride, or get out of the relationship and move on. Remember, in the case of relationships and other people, changing them is not an option.
